A Simple, Fun Lesson about Participial Phrases

Now, donā€™t get all hot and bothered by the expression ā€œparticipial phrase.ā€ Something that is participial has to do with the part of speech that is a participle. Whatā€™s a participle? Well, itā€™s complicated. Letā€™s just say it reminds me of a photonā€”which can be both a particle and a wave. In similar fashion, a participle can be a verb and an adjective. How? By forming a phrase with a verb, you create a kind of adjective that modifies (affects, alters, describes) a noun.

Okay, enough with the grammar lesson. It will make more sense once you read on.

One telltale sign of an inexperienced writer is the overuse of participial phrases to begin a sentence. Participial phrases are easily identified because they almost always begin with a verb that ends in ing or ed. If the participle is present tense, it will dependably end inĀ ing. Likewise, a regular past participle will end in a consistentĀ ed. Irregular past participles, unfortunately, conclude in all kinds of ways.

  • Example: Writing in longhand, Steinbeck wrote The Grapes of Wrath in five months.

ā€œWriting in longhandā€ is a participial phrase that modifies wrote. As modifiers, participial phrases can be a convenient way to add information, especially to downplay less interesting or pertinent information. In this example, the participial phrase conveys significant information. But in a paragraph like the following, ask yourself how much of the information delivered through the participial phrases is necessary to the narrative.

  • Seething with anger, Jennifer stormed into the kitchen. Slamming the door, she shouted for her mother. Finding her in the living room, she demanded, ā€œHow could you? Telling Mrs. Olson about my crush on Jimmy.ā€

See which of the two following examples you think is more concise and less clunky:

  • Eaten by mosquitoes, we wished that we had made hotel, not campsite, reservations.
  • We wished we had stayed in a hotel instead of a campsite. The mosquitoes ate us alive.

How aboutĀ this?:

  • The water drained slowly in the pipeĀ clogged with dog hair.
  • The pipe was so clogged with dog hair, the water barely drained.

You can see how awkward using these participial phrases are. I sometimes see manuscripts that are chock-full of them (Interesting aside: chock-full comes from the Middle English word that means ā€œto choke.ā€ So donā€™t let these phrases choke your writing).

Some editors encourage writers to avoid participial phrases altogether. That seems a bit extreme. But itā€™s a good practice to review your writing for any unnecessary participles and remove them, or find another way to convey that important piece of the narrative.

If youā€™re a photon, you can decide if you want to be a particle or a wave. If youā€™re a writer, you can decide if you want to turn verbs into adjective phrases. Sometimes itā€™s not a good idea.

 

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4 Comments

  1. Thank you for this article. You’ve explained and demonstrated so well how modifying a verb with a participle phrase only adds unnecessary, unwanted and clunky weight to prose. Awareness of this habit can only lead to better writing.

  2. Sometimes I’ll use a participial phrase to change up the writing. Instead of always he said, she said, he did, she did. But, I agree it can be dangerous to overuse them. I always say, when the reader stops and has to scratch his/her head, you’ve done something wrong. If it flows, so be it.

    Thanks!

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