5 Techniques for Showing a Character’s Suppressed Emotion

Today’s guest post is by Becca Puglisi.

Character emotion, when written well, links directly to reader empathy. Why? Because when the character’s feelings are authentic and clearly conveyed, readers respond to them. When a protagonist expresses grief, joy, anger, or fear, readers immediately relate because they’ve experienced those emotions personally. They’re pulled into the character’s experience. And that’s exactly where we want them.

But as we all know, characters don’t always cooperate. If they’re anything like real people (and they should be), at some point, they’re going to hide their feelings. Suppressed emotion makes them more realistic while also generating questions for readers that increase intrigue:

Why is she hiding how she feels? What does it mean?
Was she successful, or does the other person suspect the truth?
What’s at stake if they find out?

That intrigue is awesome because it pulls readers in deeper, keeping them hooked so they can find answers. But this only happens if the character’s suppressed emotion is written smoothly and realistically. So let’s talk about what that looks like with a universal feeling that should crop up multiple times in any story, no matter the genre.

Fear: A Primal Emotion

Fear isn’t just any old emotion; it’s hardwired into the psyche as a way of protecting us from real or perceived danger. As such, it’s hard to ignore. This means that most characters will be comfortable expressing it. When a friend grabs them in the dark, they startle or swear, and they’re okay with that.

But there are situations where a character may want to hide their fear:

• They’re with someone they want to impress.
• They’re with someone who views fear as a weakness.
• They don’t want people to know they’re afraid of a particular thing.
• They need to be strong for someone else.
• Hiding or denying the fear is necessary for survival.
• They want to maintain a power dynamic or the status quo in a tense situation.
• They’re avoiding or denying a past trauma.

If any of these situations cause your character to downplay fear, their suppression will be subtle, possibly not even discernible to others. But readers need to see what they’re hiding. This means you’ll have to show the character’s muted response in the moment while indicating to readers that it’s a front, and fear is in play. Here’s how.

Body Language

 Characters who want to mask fear will downplay their physical cues. Basically, they act normal despite what’s happening on the inside.

“I’m afraid it’s not good news,” Ms. Bozeman said. “The judge has determined that for your mom to get better, she needs to be in a place that can best service her mental health challenges. But don’t worry—while she’s staying at Ravencrest, your dad’s agreed to take you in.”

Melody took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Here, readers see no outward sign that this news has rocked the character’s world. Melody’s response seems reasonable. Good thing she has a father to take care of her, right?

Visceral Responses

But this isn’t good news, and while she’s showing calm on the outside, inside, she’s fighting panic. Readers need to see that, so we show it through what’s happening internally.

“But don’t worry—while she’s staying at Ravencrest, your dad’s agreed to take you in.”

Melody’s stomach tightened. The air fled her lungs, and she had to remind herself to inhale. This couldn’t be happening. All the moving, starting over at new schools, avoiding social media—Mom had explained it all when she was still lucid.

They’d left him when Melody was little, and her few memories of that time were hazy and fear-tinged. But she did have a clear vision of him looming over her and relaying in terrifying detail what he’d do if she told anyone the truth about him.

She dragged her gaze up to Ms. Bozeman, who was watching her intently. It was too dangerous to say anything now that her father knew where she was. She’d have to try to get away before he came.

Melody took a deep breath and forced her fingers to loosen their death grip on her armrests. “Okay.”

If readers see only Melody’s physical cues, nothing seems amiss; her deep breath is an expected response for someone dealing pretty well with a hard reality. But her thoughts tell another story, and her internal visceral reactions (the tightening stomach and difficulty breathing) underscore the truth: Melody is terrified. Thanks to her mental process, we know she has good reason; we now have some context for her fear. The outward physical cues, thoughts, and visceral reactions work together to show readers Melody’s true emotional state, what caused it, and why she must hide it.

One note of warning for this technique: Include thoughts strategically so they don’t slow the pace. Show only as much as is needed, then move on to action.

Dialogue and Speech Changes

The character can alter their body language to hide fear, but it often is obvious in the voice because of fear’s physiological effect on the body. Increased muscle tension in the neck and vocal cords influence timbre and make it sound tight, husky, or brittle. Rapid, shallow breathing can impair breath control so the character’s words sound shaky and weak. Fear also commonly causes the voice to pitch higher.

Changes in the brain itself can cause dialogue shifts, mostly in the character’s speech patterns. Distraction leads to stammering and stuttering. High anxiety might make it hard for the character to find words at all. A talkative person might slip into flight mode and resort to one-word answers, or a reserved person could begin babbling nonstop.

When fear comes to visit, it often settles into the voice first. Show changes to voice and speech alongside any attempts to hide the fear so readers (and other characters) can see what’s really going on.

 Tells

 Most people aren’t totally comfortable lying, and their tics and tells give them away in moments of dishonesty. Melody might fiddle with an earring, pop her knuckles, or slouch to appear unconcerned. Maybe her voice betrays her as it rises in pitch or breaks, making her clear her throat. If your character often lies when they’re afraid, use their tell as a clue for readers.

Cracks in the Mask

One final thought about hiding fear: Very few characters will be one hundred percent successful in masking it. Certain changes naturally occur—for everyone—with the onset of fear. Trembling limbs, quicker breathing, eyes going wide … It’s hard to disguise all that. (Just look at the death grip Melody has on those armrests.) And the longer a character must suppress an emotion, the harder it is to keep it hidden. So unless they’re a deception expert, authenticity requires the mask to slip—and readers need to see it.

The beauty of these techniques is they work for all suppressed emotions—fear, yes, but also anger, jealousy, sadness, or even happiness. Let the character carry on their façade with the rest of the cast while you reveal the truth to readers in a way that keeps them turning pages.

Need more information about fear’s role in storytelling and how to show it effectively? Check out The Fear Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to What Holds Characters Back.

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and best-selling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and other resources for writers. Her books have sold over 1.4 million copies and are available in multiple languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online resource for authors that’s home to the Character Builder and Storyteller’s Roadmap tools.

Featured Photo by Ahtziri Lagarde on Unsplash